Regret mom: A story of circumcision

I am a regret mom, don't do what I did.

It isn’t what you think… well maybe.. no complications from the medical standard became of our sons circumcision but I later learned what I wish I knew when pregnant. I learned that it wasn't a decision for parents to make, that we should allow our sons to make.

My husband already had a son and together we had a daughter I hadn’t had to think about this major surgery before, its not something I had ever looked into before. I had met people who I knew hadn't had their sons circumcised but the why wasn't something I knew. I wasn't educated on the topic of circumcision. I remember asking my mom and she told me my brother was because that was what the normal was, she has been told that it is what you did.

I am disappointed at myself because I look into everything from childbirth to vaccines and a little of everything in between but why wasn’t this topic as important? Why do we spend more time planning a baby shower or doing research for the latest stroller, car seat and crib than we do a circumcision?? Have you stopped and watched a video on the procedure being done to a newborn child? Have you seen a child pass out from all the pain?

Do we prefer to regret a decision that to become educated on the topic?

I have heard my own ob/gyn tell me it was safe and better for our sons. I have heard several other families being told that the procedure happens so fast that the child doesn’t even feel it. I am going to tell you all of that information is a lie. Choose to do your research to look into this very BIG surgery more than you do say... a fancy baby shower.

I ask you this, if you are thinking of having your son circumcised because you feel it is your decision to make watch this video on YouTube called, Elephant in the hospital. I was not able to sit and watch the procedure from start to finish. I had to walk away because I could not stand to see the pain on the child’s face!

Now maybe you are thinking well you don’t have to watch it be done and your right you don’t but would you not watch your child at a park? Would you not watch your child cross the street? These are all to some very simple things to do but most of us would fear that something many happen to our children if we let them go on their own. I don’t think the fear is always that our children can’t complete the task but that someone may not be as careful as we are teaching our children to be.

Our son Michael was just a day old when he was taken to be circumcised I felt this pain in my stomach like something was wrong. We thank God that our son came out because we also later learned about botched jobs, and death from bleeding after.  I had gone with the wrong decision, I regret the decision we had made.

I had to be careful not to hurt him while changing his diapers. I had to wipe his tears from crying so much although I was told he didn’t “really” cry.  That is a LIE! Our sons feel the pain and they don't understand why. They should never had to go through pain there are no health benefits.

WHY must we continue to have this barbaric procedure done on our sons when the risk outweigh any would be benefits?

If you are reading this because you are looking into the topic please read and click on all the links above, if you are reading this because you regret your decision please share this post, and if you were one of the lucky ones who did the research thank you!!

10 thoughts on “Regret mom: A story of circumcision”

  1. Thank you for speaking out. As a cut dad of two intact teen sons, I really appreciate it.

  2. Its tough. We didn’t get our son done, but now its looking like at 7 he have to have it done as things have not gone as it should as far as being able to be out to clean etc … it seems its common within teh circle of people I know and a few boys are having to have it done around 6-10 years old. Now I’m in a panic as how do you tell you son that his going to have surgery there !!! Hes petrified.

    1. Have you done research as to the causes you might be thinking he needs it done? I have done a ton of reading and research and it seems many (not saying you) aren’t too sure how how to clean a intact penis. I have also noticed since it’s a routine procedure quite a few doctors aren’t training or aware that you should not be forcing the skin back.

  3. This hits so close to home. My son is almost 3 and he is still “attached”. We were planning to get it done but this is really changing my mind. For his age they will have to put him to sleep. But my older son is circumcised. I too feel the regret.

    1. Thank you for reading. I know we try and do the best for our children and this was one of the moments that made me feel like I had betrayed my son. I wish you luck in your journey and decision

    2. When you say “attached” are you talking about how the inner mucosa of the prepuce is attached to the glans? It’s supposed to be and may be well into his teens.

  4. I have a daughter and thankfully I didn’t have to make this decision. it is a very sad that your little one had to go through the painful event.

  5. I’ve thankfully had two girls and haven’t had to make this decision. Plus, I have a husband who doesn’t support circumcision if ever were to have a boy. I haven’t had to do any research, but I have read a lot about Female Genital Mutilation (aka Female Circumcision) and don’t know why I never fully connected the two practices as basically one in the same. Thanks writing this and helping me make that connection– and reminding everyone that the choice to cut into our children’s genitals is not ours to make.

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