5 things you should research before children

Pregnancy, birth and becoming parents are all such amazing adventures. You never know what to expect at any stage. There is no handbook and everyone has the advice to give about how you should do everything. Before you decide to have children here are five things you should research.

Some of these may be no brainers but I have to be honest some of them you may find out you are not on the same page as your partner and you will need to research and discuss further. I have recently seen more and more post about getting partners on the same page and I know that views change over time but if you already know what you would like then it can become helpful when finding the “perfect” partner.

You will want to research these 5 topics before having the baby talk with your partner. Is you partner on the same page as you are? pregnancy options. pregnancy decisions. Parenting choices.

*** Let me also add this disclaimer because I think we may need it. ***

You may not agree with my point of view but I really hope you read this with an open mind. All of these below have been tough topics in several groups I am in after pregnancy or baby is born and lead to issues in the relationship. Take time to research each of these and discuss with your partner.


This is a hard topic for so many. We live in a society that tells us our sons need to be circumcised to look like dad or because it is cleaner. We have these false ideas for our sons that we need to move past and protect our sons.

So how do we move past these false ideas and what research can help us?

Do the research. It can take time and be overwhelming to watch the videos or see pictures. I am a regret mom and if I should have another son he will be kept whole the way he should be. I only wish I had someone help educate me before I made this horrible decision.

To read more on this topic and links to resources, videos and more head over to this post, What every parent should know about circumcision.


Researching the benefits and risk of vaccines allows you to make the best-informed decision. I have an amazing post that I wrote about my research and personal experience with vaccines, read what you should know about vaccines.

I also recommend you check out this amazing nonprofit by Del Bigtree called I Can Decide. Along with his nonprofit, you can also watch a weekly live cast he does on Facebook. He breaks down the science and gives you links so you can read and save those same studies he is going over. This is easy to watch but a long show. It is worth taking the time to watch weekly to gather the most up to date information.


You notice I didn’t call this section anything other than breastfeeding because as pissed as you may be that I say breastfeeding first we know for a fact that breastmilk is best. No formula company can make the biological components that are found in breastmilk. Read more about breastfeeding here.

Find support

Not everyone around you will understand your reasons to breastfeed. You may even get some side eye when they see you but if you know all the reasons you breastfeed that is all that matters. I have heard stories of partners asking for you to cover up or only to nurse at home and while covering up may be an option only nursing at home means pumping while out. Which do they like the idea of?

Funny story- I have had to pump while attending births, sometimes while driving (this can be done safely) so unless they want a driver to happen to see you attaching all your pump parts while they drive this might not be the best option.


Here you may find another fork in the road when it comes to well, everyone. You have some who think a baby should be sleeping through the night at a certain age (sometimes months old) and others who realize that there is no correct answer. My son at four months slept all night while my daughter would nurse every few hours for the year two years of their life.

I don’t agree with the cry it out method (CIO), no child should have to cry themselves to sleep. When you are sad, overwhelmed, tired or whatever else you find comfort. Comfort in food, friends, and cuddles. Shit sometimes even wine!

Babies are inside you, growing and getting cuddles every day for 40 plus weeks give or take. The hear you talking, and take naps but sometimes they need a little extra help once born. Extra cuddles to remind them they are safe. So why are we in such a hurry to get them out of our arms and sleeping through the night?


When it comes to birth options you have so many to choose from. Where to give birth, who will be present, what type of birth you would like, etc. Here are some create conversation starters.

Where will you give birth?

Would you want a home, birth center, or hospital? Of course, there are other options but these seem to be the most common as a doula that I have attended so far this activity we will stick to just these options.

A home birth and birth center birth are just as safe as a hospital birth if not more in my personal option. Out of the hospital, births allow less risk of infection and faster birth recovery.

Who will be present?

This question is more than just what if any family member will be present. Here you will want to think about the birth professionals.

Do you want a doula? How about if you had to pick a midwife or ob/gyn? While a doula will always focus on you and your needs a provider like a midwife or an ob/gyn will focus more on the pregnancy and medical care.

What type of birth do you want?

We know that emergencies can happen and that plans can change we are reminded of that by so many around us but you can still plan. You can still create a birth plan and include options in case of an emergency. Did you know you can purchase a visual birth plan?

If you are having a home or birth center birth then you are already aware that most forms of traditional hospital pain medications aren’t an option. Having a doula is a great benefit to help with pain management.

If you don’t feel you are able to birth without these traditional hospital pain medication options you can choose a hospital birth and still benefit from having a doula. We will be blogging about this soon so stay tuned on how a doula and hospital birth can work hand in hand.

What about water birth? Is that something you would want to consider? This is another great form of pain management.

Would you like to have freedom of movement during labor and birth? The options to move to a different position if the one you are in doesn’t seem to work?

Birth has so many options so which one will you choose?

What are some of the things you think should be researched before starting a journey to parenthood?

5 topics every person should research before they are even expecting. pregnancy research. parenting options. pregnancy options.

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